Husband Threatened to Leave, Don't know what to do

[Lll54]

You are borrowing trouble you don't need and mind reading again. There is something going on with your husband that he doensn't want to talk about. You are going to let your fear of what you can't control affect your ability to do what you can control.

You are 100% correct. I hit panic mode again...and fixer mode...what can I do to correct this situation. I still haven't learned that i can't fix him. Not sure if that's a natural feeling or just me. I have to try and work on that. Cause now i sit here with my stomach in a pit...

As for the cold behavior, have you tried what I suggested? Not withholding affection per se, but managing how bhmuch affection you demonstrate based on how he acts around you.

I haven't but you don't think in my circumstances and with love and affection vein out issue that that is a good idea? What if be assumes I'm starting the backslide?

Why should anyone be trapped in a relationship that doesn't meet their needs?

100% right. I don't debate that....

If the changes really are "too hard" then you need to take a good look at why you are trying to get him to stay. Fear of being alone is a pretty bad reason to stay married; you shouldn't be forced to become someone that you aren't.

Definitely not. The changes are nice. Make me feel good. I feel happier an they are coming more naturally to me. It's all a good and positive thing and I'm definitely not doing it to keep him. I WANT to be a more loving affectionate person.

And frankly, that "I'm a police officer so I can't trust people" thing is a crock. It's not fair to you to have him continually question your motives. I realize that things are up in the air right now, but at some point—preferably after you have demonstrated that your changes are real and permanent—he has to choose to have faith in you again.

I guess I understand where he is coming from which I voiced to him but I ask agree and asked him to try and put the criminals on the street and me in different categories. I understand he is leery of my changes lasting but i asked he has faith in me. He said he does and that's why he is still here. He believes we can get there.

Called my therapist today who knows Chris an just thinks he is acting on his emotions right now which can be dangerous. And he is so up and down due to his emotions. He compared them to the weather. And what he needs to figure out is how to handle his emotions and deal with them and not blame them on very thing around him.

So question...how do I act if he comes home still in a terrible mood?