DB seemingly backfired w/ my H???

[swoop]

I am so drained today. Yesterday was super frustrating getting rejected by the apartment. I got over it, but then my parents tried to "fix" things, that took a negative turn and that went south b/c of the questions they asked me.

What questions did they ask you?

I don't know how I'd handle feeling worst than I do now.

Neither did any one of us, but we all can. You WILL look back on this some day and realize how strong you really are. The key is managing yourself and controlling the hurt. That is why your focus needs to be 100% on Mimi, right now. GAL is CRUCIAL. Staying healthy is very important. You do need to feel your emotions, but not give them total power over you. You will learn how to do that as time goes on. I learn new tricks every day. One of my most powerful ones is; I remind myself when I am down, "this is just an emotion I am feeling right now. It will pass and I will be better". Usually just reminding myself of that makes my feelings settle down much much faster. I think my biggest tool is to not fixate. If you find yourself with total focus on something negative, FORCE yourself to change your attention to something happier. It is easier said than done, but it helps.

My heart dropped into my stomach simply thinking of having to call H to help with this. I don't know why, maybe fear of him saying no? I overcame the fear and called, but he didn't answer, I left a message asking him to give me a call we he could,that I have a favor to ask of him. No response yet.

Take this as my personal opinion, not a road map for you, just a perspective that I have. First, I would not wish to take "favors" from your WAS. That will give him power over you and make you appear weaker to him. It will also set you up for financial and emotional pain. You are feeling the first signs of that already, by him not even returning your call. Take the reigns yourself, and show him what a strong, independent, beautiful woman can do on her own. Trust me, when he sees you looking better, feeling better and getting on with your life, He will question his decisions. Remember, become the spouse that only a fool would leave. Happy, healthy, attractive, fun and independent; who would want to leave a Mimi like that?

Now, I also want to say that I wouldn't just allow him to walk away and leave you stranded. But while you are working on saving the marriage, I would do my best not to add in a bunch of heavy stressors like financial stuff, if it could possibly be avoided. discussions about money early on just opens a line for more conflict, something I wish I would have avoided in my sitch. When the time comes, you will do what you have to do.

My father insists on calling and talking the apartment people into changing their minds, though they've already told me that even w/ a co-signer they'd say no.
So we'll see if that works (I hate that he's calling for me).

Get over that. Your family is wishing to help lift you up during a difficult time. Allow them to. Put your pride and your ego aside, and change your perspective. You would wish to do the exact same thing for your father, if the need every presented itself, right? So right now You need support, both physically and emotionally. Allow him to help, as long as it is constructive.

It's funny, b/c when H and I got our first 2 apartments, it was my credit and apartment history that got us approved.
Now, I need him, now that he's no longer around.

I called a few other places today with no luck...

Something will present itself to you eventually, Mimi. I have faith that things will work out well for you. I want you to find that faith as well. It may take time, but life is going to get much much better. You can bank on that