The hardest decision - need advice, please!

[MrBond]

Linda,

"Ouch. My H's OW is a pushy, nasty, aggressive bitch. But fun. His words.
H says I am the nicest woman he knows, and that I deserve someone better. I have been following my DB coach's instructions to give him space but to be Lovely Wife when HE approaches me. Following your instructions to DMR, Bond, are you saying that in my sitch, I should be more pushy, mean, fun and aggressive???"

No. You have to learn to stop taking what your WAS says literally and understand what the unsaid message. He said that you were 'nice' and that the OW was 'aggressive'. So in the past maybe he thought things were too comfortable. Did the two of you ever do anything wild like when you were dating?

Also, he said that she was 'fun'. So maybe he felt that both of you were missing that unknown fun element you both had when you first went out with each other.

When the WAS says something, you can always learn from it.

Likewise, dmr's W said that the OM was 'kind' and 'didn't know how to be angry.' In the past, dmr admitted that he had an anger problem. So his W's comment solidifies the idea that she REALLY didn't like him being angry and didn't like having to deal with all the conflict. She just wanted peace.

dmr can continue to think the guy was a 'drip' but if he doesn't control his anger issues, then his W isn't coming back.

Just my 2 cents.