TDF, It's too late now, but you should have put a lock on your laptop so that she wouldn't have been snooping. She's going to continue coming back to the check the postings for evidence of you and your postings. She's paranoid right now and anything that she can get on you, she will use it. Please stop watching her for any signs of change. It takes a long time to heal old wounds and she's got plenty to deal w/and doesn't want your help right now.
I'm sorry that things turned out the way that they did, but maybe now, you will step way back and leave her alone. She needs time and space to figure things out for herself. You, on the other hand, need to continue on w/what you were doing in the way of support off line. You need to walk your own life's journey on your on and rediscover the person who is buried deep within.
Please stop trying to diagnosis her problems. That is the one thing that anyone in mlc or any other type of condition wants to hear from others. Like an addict, she will need to figure things out by herself. The more you try to talk to her about it, the more determined she will be to walk away and not truly listen to what you have to say. Leave her alone!
Now, turn the focus back on to you and start living some of the steps you've learned thus far. Those steps are: patience, keeping the focus on you, finding new hobbies, etc., giving her space and time, no more relationship discussions and learn to listen and validate. One last thing...keep the focus on you and your children from now. Learn to accept that she's not the person you once knew. Until you learn to accept that you didn't break her, therefore you can't fix her, you will continue to spin. The only person you can fix is yourself and that's the most important thing right now.
Again, I'm sorry about your situation.
T2, sorry for my hi-jack.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
