OKAY- SINCE YOU ALL KNOW HOOOOOO NEUROTIC I CAN BE WITH THE THINKING THIS- THINKING THAT, ETC.
THE THING IS THIS - my own expectations in life and VALUES (well, how i think it "should be".
FOR WANT of a better name for "it". (oh yeah- and probably too much "father knows best" and "donna reed".
I always believed that when you loved someone- it enables all of us to put THEIR happiness first.
this mlc junk has me down because - i can't feel that for h rite now or maybe any more. his happiness ALWAys SEEMed more important- like dealing with kids- i always felt LIKE A happy and secure person and able to SHARE MY GOOD WILL AND GOOD fortune and try and make the other person feel that too. you know, feel it- that they CAME FIRST.
feeling like crappola now - to him- (which i think is part of feeling like crappola to everyone almost)
WELL- it's darn unpleasant. and makes me question who i was- who was that woman? and was she just nuts or what??? or just superficial and egocentric ? or what
or just wonderful and work to reclaim her- or is it time for an overhaul and dose of reality (which seems like negativism to me)
