round and around we go

[willbwell]

H is adamant about d. I said I would like to remain status quo. separated.I have school, s16 will be a junior in HS a very tough year. H says he does not want to be married. Why should he delay the inevitable. He said he will proceed.

of course I cried. Of course I tried my best to be calm, to validate, to listen. I was not smart aleck, but he at times got short with me. He would say something that sounded so ironic and I would laugh out loud-I couldn't believe he could be saying that. or I would smirk and shake my head in disbelief...for example saying he would be there for kids...He is not here dealing with kids day in day out. He wants to be there for them now? I asked him how?

I have seen an attorney. Its all so expensive. My state is terrible for women. What the law "allows" is crap. I have been a stay at home. I am now back in school( which is good) but will make my life even that much harder in the short term. I have school and all kid responsibility. I can do it I know. Just pisses me off that he is out 'living his life'

S19 bday is Saturday. he wants to do burgers at home. H will come over. I will do my regular. Be happy, busy.

Going to art museum today with d15 and friends. Have a big headache right now, but it will be better later.