Well im a manual labor guy anyways, lift all day at work, I could bench 300 previously. Curl 150. I did the gym thing first couple of months, and got nothing out of it but to say I was there. I took up golfing and tennis lately, and really feel it is more relaxing and I get something out of it too. Play with my son. I have to admit I still look young for my age, no grey hair yet, and full head of hair. Most ppl say I look 35. My son told me today I looked exactly like Tom Cruise (lol-i wish, he's trying so hard) before I lost all the weight.
I might have gone a bit too dim the first week, change what wasn't working, stepped up a tad. Communication has been better since. Went dim cause I suspect, but can never confirm, her contact with an old boyfriend/friend from high school days. Its a long distance EA at this point im guessing, and of course he's telling her how he regrets things didn't work out then, and maybe this is the second chance he's been waiting for. Who knows, I did enough mind reading already. I don't have a jealous bone, an ounce of hate left in my body anymore.
The way I look at it now, is if she cant/doesn't want me after 21 years, and all the changes she says' she's noticed, then theres nothing else I can do. I just keep working on what I can control.
I try not to talk about it with my kids at all actually, I tried to be as supportive as I could at first. And, somehow it all came back and hit me in the face that I was some kind of control freak, the kids thought they were helping, but made some things worse, but did it out of love. I understand what they were trying to do. Now my son prefers just to move out of state, get away from it all, I've told him we cant run from it, we must deal with it. Its life, how we handle it will help us the rest of our lives, when it hurts so much especially.
Going dim or dimmer in my case, has really helped me detach. I would actually recommend it if someone was to ask me how to help detach when they're having troubles getting there, but ea. sitch is so unique even thou it seems like they're all playing with the same handbook. Its not the present or future that makes our sitches unique, its our pasts, and what got our marriages in trouble in the first place.
How's your sitch? i'll have to pop on over and catch up on the last few days of reading. Hope all is well, I know it is with you cause you got this crap down to a capital G, for GOT IT.
