Well, not sure what to report. The D word hasn't been brought back up. She's content on keeping her distance, although she did come over a few days ago, gave a good cry, and asked for a hug and left. She's on anti depressants now.
I've been trying to go dim as best as possible, give her time and space, which she's run with. Taking care of myself, working, took up tennis since the court in 20ft. outside my door.
Even tho both of us seem to be relatively healthy, were both having some moderate health issues now. I'm still DB'n, although i feel like im having the reverse 180 done to me.....in textbook fashion now. Things she's said are not part of the WAW script, but right out of the "How do you know when your marriage is over" book instead.
Trying to be confident and get out as much as possible, but extremely hard with no funds, and my health in constant decline at this point. I stepped on a scale, knew i'd been losing weight but I've now gone from 190 down to 145. I look terrible, and I've been eating. The bloody urine, 24 hour stomach cramp, and found 2 new growths by my stomach have me a bit worried i guess. Called every doctor in town, and none could see me before the 19th.
Even if i was ready to try a date (which im not), i'd be too embarrassed now to even ask. Doing some carb/protein milkshakes at night now, but still extremely tired all the time. Sleeping ok i guess, but just fatigued.
This all has taking its toll, on all of us, but i felt like i was battling thru it ok until this last week. Between trying to just mourn the loss of my marriage i guess. Still trying to figure out what the next step of the process is, but not in a hurry to push myself thru it either.
