Thanks, Snodderly. I have expressed my concerns with my lawyer. I haven't done a credit check yet, because I was under the impression that the more credit checks you have done, the worse your credit rating gets, and I don't want H saying I ruined his chance of refinancing because that credit check "screwed it up".
H is afraid of what is going to come out at this hearing, I just know it. He is hiding something and is afraid he is going to get discovered. We need to get to the bottom of it. I don't think it's as simple as what it looks.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
You should run a credit report. It's not going to hurt your credit standing. What hurts your rating is if you either don't pay your bills or you don't pay them on time. The more credit cards/debt you have, the more it brings down your credit rating. It's best not to have too many credit cards, whether you use them or not. After my divorce, I contacted each and every credit card company that I had cards with and notified them to discontinue my accounts. I kept one card and that's all I have. I run a report once a year to ensure that my xh hasn't put my name on something that he's using or his current wifey is using.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sure, he could put my name on something or the ow could pretend to be me. Criminal do this all of the time, it is now called identity theft. My lawyer advised me to keep tabs on my credit reporting because he's had cases where the spouse has done this. Thus far, my report has been good, but if mlcers or angry spouses get a hair up their @sses and are desperate, they'll try anything until they get caught.
WH, not saying that your h would do this to you, but it happens a lot. That's why I keep urging you to do the reports. It's very important that you know and not get hoodwinked later.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Actually, it is true that if you have a lot of credit checks, they assume you have been applying for (and getting turned down) for loans or whatever and can ding your credit. But I would think one free credit report would not have a big impact on that.
If you live in a community property state, you may be liable for H's bills, but I believe only the ones before he filed for divorce. At least in my state, that was the case.
Be careful about cancelling cards - you do want to cancel joint cards, but again, cancelling a lot of your own cards can ding your credit rating a little bit.
Actually I don't have a lot of cards. I have one department store card and one joint credit card. I don't have a car payment, but I am on the mortgage and the second mortgage, so there aren't any cards to cancel, but I can't cancel the joint card, and H hasn't been using that one anyway. I keep a tight rein on that one.
I am trying to get my head wrapped around these finances. If I hadn't been so diligent in keeping our head above water with finances, we would be in a lot worse mess. I can see now how bad it could have been financially.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Your situation with credit cards doesn't sound bad at all. My concern is the joint credit card.
You are doing the right thing in keeping a close rein on your finances, but you need to do a free credit report to see where you stand right now.
Hang in there. Try not to let this stuff get you too spun up. Your lawyer is doing a great job in taking care of you thus far.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
See if you can take H off the joint card? If not, ask your attorney if they have any advice about the best time for you to apply for an individual card - now, or after the divorce?
Obviously, it's best if you don't use credit cards, but it can be good to have one for an emergency.
I try not to use credit cards, but seeing how H has been tightening the noose with the cash flow, I have had to use it with some things for the kids. Not too much though.
It is my credit card. H is a secondary. I put it in his name years ago. I wish I hadn't but he needed his own card for "work purposes". He racked up the debt and when I voiced concern he told me he was taking care of it. He took care of it all right.
If I get H's name off the card does that me he is not liable for the debt? He is taking at least half this credit card debt. More if I can make it happen.
H forgot to take D to swim lessons today. I hope they don't dock her for it. She loves swimming and she was upset when I asked her why she didn't go. And of course, she had no idea. H just said "it's my fault" and walked away.
He must have other things on his mind.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
