Newcomer's brief summary

[RealityTrip]

We all see your replies. The reply button just gives your post and RE: at the top so we can see to whom you are responding.

You're certainly right about it not making sense to me. The big thing is this, and just humor me, please; My wife is a professional with 3 advanced degrees and earned a 6 figure income for years. Due to the economy and loss of her job, she began working at a landscaping design company. The OM is an overweight, immigrant hispanic guy who speaks broken english and doesn't even hold a highschool diploma. WTF? I cannot comprehend this at all! Your thoughts on this?

Oh bless your heart! If we could answer this type of question we could end affairs around the world! But my thoughts after my own sitch, reading, and counseling... IMO affairs are never about the affair partner. They are not even about you, the LBS. They are completely about the WAS's. It's not who he is or what he looks like but how he makes her feel about herself in whatever piece of her that is not whole and needs to be filled up.

I know my S's A absolutely walloped my self-esteem... sent me spinning. I could not comprehend the choice of AP so what did that say about me?.... NOTHING!

You're doing great. Keep with your DB coach's advice and keep reading other threads. It's a bumpy ride but I can sense your determination to stay the course.