Hardened Heart Continues

[TryingToDo180]

I wish I could just turn everything off and live but it cant be done like that.

It CAN be done like that if you let it 2old. Try and think of other things you can do as well as looking for a job. you know the saying "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" and the "play" shouldn't just be sitting on your PC all day in your dressing gown, lol. Get out and go for a walk once a day, go into town and look around the shops and the thrift shops for treasures (maybe that's just a girl thing!). I always try to get out of the house every day, I hate being stuck inside! Over here in the UK the shops will sometimes advertise jobs on their shop windows so it is worth checking these out.
Voluntary work can also look good on your CV and help you interact with people again and maybe make new friends along the way.
It won't look good to a new employer when you go for your interview and you've not got a spring in your step!
You are right when you say that others are trying to see positives in their WAS's behaviour, but they are also Getting a life so that if the inevitable does happen, they are more prepared for it! I'm still finding it hard, but I'm trying to move on and not obsess too much about my WAS. If I do then people do not know about it on here as it's just me wallowing in my own self pity!
I think about him every day, I wonder what he's doing at the moment, I wonder if the next time he sees me he'll ask to move back home or ask me for a D. I wonder when he's going to ring me next, I dread the post coming every day in case it's a letter from his solicitor. I wonder every day whether or not it's the right time to tell my parents. I wonder what I shall put in the letter to my parents, I'm NOT telling them over the phone!!
BUT... at the same time I'm trying to forget all that crap. I'm trying to move on with my life, keep busy, set up my own business, meet up with friends, keep my son occupied, do voluntary work and go out every day.