I understand what you're saying, but that really wasn't the case. I DO KNOW she was feeling sad. The tears running down her cheeks, and her expressing what was making her feel that way, rang pretty loudly in my ears. I DO KNOW the loss of a stable home environment, with a Mom and Dad under one roof, is affecting her emotionally. She expressed that to me.
This wasn't in your original post, so thanks for the clarification. But asking can still open up a very different conversation.
Quote:
I have never dug deeper into my emotions because they have served me well enough over the years. Now, is the first time in my life that I am really struggling with them. With that said, I have not considered EE. I haven't been considering anything in regards to counseling, workshops or the like in quite some time. Maybe I should. I will do a little research into EE, and see if it is available in my area.
SP, you're getting a D. You've just talked about how terrible the is for your D, you wake up every night with thoughts of your W, you're struggling. If you re-read your early threads, you say that you were not emotionally there for W and you hurt her emotionally with your anger, suspicions, control, etc. So to say that your emotions have served you well over the years is suspect.
What priority to you put on changing you so that this doesn't happen again? Some people can come here and work through things without outside help but I would guess 75-80% of the people here have an IC.
When this topic comes up, you always have a reason why you can't, not enough money, too busy with work. Really? I'm not saying you should go in debt to go to EE but there are alternatives.
I struggled for years with depression but thought I was doing OK, keeping is hidden, trying to self-help and muscle my way out of the woods. I was only kidding myself. I damaged all the important relationships in my life. I'm slowing repairing that but it's painful to know that you hurt those you love because of ego and pride.
When my marriage came crashing down around my ears, I knew the jig was up. I had to pay the piper, in more ways than one.
My life is so much better now, my Rs going forward will be different and better. Not without trials but strong Rs with healthy people can withstand trials.
So what's your hurdle? What's holding you back?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
