lets hold hands and jump in. i'm sharing your anger rite this minute- and i'm sayin YES to it - WHAT ABOUT JUST SAY YES!!qq
THESE a$$HOLES GET TO RUIN OUR HAPPINESS AND WE'RE SITTIN HERE BEING ALL db and understanding (ick ick ick) and so forth.
this minute- i could kill. see- good case for gun control. what would people get up to if they felt all this - had a jackA$$ rite in their face AND a gun handy tooboot. oh my God!! i shudder to think.
ANYWAY- i'm thinking if you gotta say it out- then it's got to be done. me- idk what the heck i'm doin here. i'm grossed out inside - i'm not quaking with anger on the outside- i can't make the call of how it "makes me look".
whatever i look liike or sound like- it is not inspiring my h to say he's giving up ow- old dog eye cow girl- so wtf does it all matter anyway????
i'm admiring your anger and your guts. if the finances don't scare you and you feel reasonably sure of him- than good for you too.
me- insecure and don't expect one good thing. for me- i'm looking at the downside and trying to capture the magic of negativism with reagrd to this man and this sitch.
i'm e3xpecting him to be the worst of the worst - slimy to the end. i used to see the opposite- everywhere. it was a huge mistake.
i wish i could kick him out- i don't thik it works when he owns half and legally i have not a single foot (much less leg) to stand on.
how can he live in same house with me- look at my stupid face- talk to me- hear my voice and want to keep me in his life if he's allll in LOOOOOOVE SO BADLY WITH OW????
that even grosses me out alot- what a big dope. don't think he has any idea in hell what love is- maybe never will. HIS LOSS
maybe he's a lost cause - and i'm nuts to even be here. well, I'D SAY THAT'S A GIVEN... it's just a matter of clear up the mess now and get on with it all.
it pisses me off bvig time to think he gets to be all "rich and comfortable" and at same time i get to worry like mad and he gets to make me feel threatened about the very roof over my head and that is that. the way it is and will be. no options- that really makes me mad- thinking i have to just swallow whatever he dishes out.
well- I DO KNOW you're rite that we control us- i'm still thinking my best bet here is not a head on confrontation in life- "in the end" - if this is "the end". if he thinks it's his idea he could be generous about it all. i'm hoping like hell it goes that way. if i keep mum- make my own life and plan, etc. and don't be militant i may not end up toally bashed into the turf.
just my gut's input.. it's mighty hard for person like me to keep my own council - i am no spy girl-
oh man- you think you're mad- i'm still thinking wait and see what (if anything) this estate gives me- i'm thinking survival here-nothing less. i think it's shabby - them remember this is not a joke -
i think every cent i can save up or scratch up and not spend will be a good thing. it's all i have at the moment-
i can't figure how the heck i get to stop him from coming to nj and doing whatever he wants about that- since he owns half of house. i can't lock him out- i can't sell it without his consent- i can't "own it" without him giving it or me buying it.
i'm kind of stuck a bit with that - i know it's same in marriage. all equal these days- and without kids i'd probably be in same bind-
IT'S JUST the breadth & depth of my insecurity about "going it alone". it's that damn loneliness thing- geeez - can you believe i even am still droning on about that. like why the heck is this better to just have a body around - and it is, believe me, i make myself sick to say it out loud- but being the only little ole jerk bouncing around a house alllll the time - stinks. i come home from walking at 10 p.m. and who cares??? if i died in the street who would even know i didn't turn up? no one- and who would care??? no one.
this jerky guy is SUPPOSED TO. HE'S THE PERSON who is supposed to cry & suffer if i croak- i don't see that happening. he'll just feel relief. what a world he lives in.
oh alright- we may be sufferin succotash rite now- but i'm still thinking it was better to love like mad than never feel it deeply. it was a good thing- no matter what it "really was". whatever i thought it was - was mighty nice.
amen-
it bums me out- it's unfixable tho, isn't it???? it's just not what i have anymore.
GOD - DON'T YOU JUST ADMIRE ME SOOOO MUCH WHEN I'M ALL RANTING MY STUPID HEAD OFF - MAD AS HECK - INEFFECTUAL AS HECK - AND STILL ALSO WHINING AWAY ABOUT HOW ON THE FENCE I AM- AND STUCK AND WAITING FOR THIS, THAT & THE OTHER- BLAH BLAAH BLAH-
HOLY CR^P WOMAN- GET A GRIP- PICK ONE- BE TOUGH- BE A WORM- BE A TOUGHER WORM- SOMETHING....
DOH DE DOH
THANK YOU - DRIVE THRU PLEASE AND HAVE A NICE DAY!!
