I have no idea what I'm doing

[RealityTrip]

Thanks friends. I am ok. I'm kind of surprising myself. Here I am faced with more drama and cake-eating and I am detached from it. I'm proud of myself.

SO, because it's just too Lifetime Movie of the Week not to share... I got an email from AP last night. She titled it:

"Her reasoning for emailing you." (Catchy right! lololol!) We'll get to that in a minute.

From what I pieced together from W's tearful call... W and AP fighting all day. W calls me and emails me love, etc., etc., W leaves the house to run an errand and doesn't want to go back so she calls AP and says she's going for a beer. AP gets angry. W says, "well then just pack my sh*t and I'll be gone".

W returns after beer. Woman who owns house they mooch in has ladies over for a get together. AP walks up to W, hugs her, kisses her and says she is going out and leaves. Minutes later, woman who owns house gives W a card. A Dear John Letter. AP is ending it and not coming back until W has left. AP then tried to talk to me via text (we all remember that.)

It seems AP snooped and found W's email to me earlier in the day about her "mistake... wanting to put family back together."

Do we need an intermission? Whew!

W freaks out and emails AP. (Which AP forwards to me with her own email)

LOLOLOLOL!!!!! It's a nail biter!

W's email to AP who Dear John'd her: Please don't leave like this...come back let's talk... I only told RT those things so that I would have a landing if I needed it... I'm stuck in this house... I need you... If you ever loved me come back... We can't be finished... I'm begging you.

AP's email to me with the above email attached: (such a trusting healthy relationship they have isn't it?)
"She says she hasn't spoke to you about coming there and that she swears she would rather be alone than go back to you. I'm over all the bullsh*t and have been. I told her to stay the last time she was there. (lie. I saw the emails of her demanding my W leave... W showed me.) She begged and pleaded the entire time for me not to let go. I just want to move on with or without her. We are never going to get any peace if she is able to keep lying and convince us that she is lying to the other. So what's the truth RT? Out of all the lies, I just want a small bit of honesty. If you can... Thanks."

Hilarious!!!! I of course... did not respond and will not. She wants ME to give her peace and honesty!

Ok... so all this and I am still Ok. My work has been paying off.

Cut to W's crying phone call. She knows I have seen the email because AP sent her the email she forwarded me as a slap in the face. (I can't believe these women are 48 and 44 years old... God don't let me go nuts after 40!) W tells me that the only reason she sent the email to AP denouncing her email to me was because she was stranded and she really didn't want it to end that way. It was brutal.

I said: "That sounds very dramatic. It must have been very hard for you."

W: I love you. I'm sorry. Move on with your life. I'm no good.

M: From your phonecalls and emails to both of us it seems you are very confused. That must be really difficult to navigate."

W: I deserve it. I deserve everything I'm getting. Get some sleep. I'm so sorry. I'm not going to hurt you anymore.

M: I'm ok. I'm not hurt. Just take care of yourself.

W: I'll call you tomorrow?

M: Good night. Get some rest.

And.... End Scene.

I snuggled into bed, thankful that I was strong, thankful that I was alone, and I slept really well.