I like your new title. Can't wait to see your growth & success as you learn to live in the now. I need to learn this as well
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
"The minute you stop lying to yourself is never pretty. ;P
Today in an email I clarified that I was becoming a WAS, but emotionally, because when someone doesn't want to be around you, it hurts, even if he has never said a word. We nitpicked, argued, strong armed (that was me...) but didn't communicate. I said that if I had been capable of this level of communication and growth in the marriage, maybe things would have been different."
I think it's so great that you and your H are growing and changing Ruby, but sure wish you two were growing together. Don't you think if you and H are able to communicate so well now, that things could be different now? If you were willing to wait for him to catch up to you?
I know you weren't forward to them all getting home. Is everything okay? Did H respond to your email? I'm sorry you are in so much pain my friend.
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
Thanks, all!! I am excited too! Linda...no reply needed for the email, it was a clarification from me, not a needed validation from him. I am also, these days, making sure that what I say is clear as I can make it.
No pain, actually, I am, for the first time, more than a little excited about my path going forward. While I wonder what H does and if he is out or sleeping at new interest's house, it's more like SD's "Isn't that interesting"....and it's gone.
I will wait for H to catch up until I am not anymore, if that makes sense?
The conversation this past weekend lent itself to the huge amount of power the LBS has, because ultimately we decide what we want to do; wait or move on. No one can take or make that decision for us. Once I realized that, everything became okay.
And Tori, my groove was a little off beat to the music of my life, but I think I am back in sync
No pain, actually, I am, for the first time, more than a little excited about my path going forward. While I wonder what H does and if he is out or sleeping at new interest's house, it's more like SD's "Isn't that interesting"....and it's gone.
I will wait for H to catch up until I am not anymore, if that makes sense?
Yes. It makes sense to me...
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
