One day at a time it seems. Today I once again found my thoughts often going to my W. I just feel I should apologize but understand why it would be best not to. She is always in my thoughts it seems - somewhere in the back of my mind. So many things though can bring her to be a dominant thought.
I want to share with her, but can't. I want to move past things that I know she hasn't even faced yet. I'm sad that everything came to this for us, but grateful that I have been able to have these experiences to grow. When I reflect I question the price of such things. The growth and lessons have been invaluable and I am amazed at how different I am than I was a year ago.
I wonder about her though. How does she really feel? Is she ok? Does she have thoughts of us? Regrets? Would she ever want to try again?
I know she is with another so I assume these thoughts don't exist or if they do they are of such a little priority that it doesn't motivate her to take action. However, who knows. Maybe she would like to but others are telling her not to. This type of thinking doesn't help at all, but I wanted to write out what was going through my head today as I know that I'm being advised against such contact.
The ebb and flow of things.
Thanks again for listening and for the positive reinforcement. I do wish her nothing but love and happiness, although as I said before I'd prefer if we could have seen if we could share that happiness together. Anyway, hope you have a wonderful day. Sandi, did you ever get back with your S?
together 7+yrs Married 3 Me 33 W 33 no kids BD 9/12 MC 9/12 W leaves MC 10/12 W moves out 11/12 Divorce 2/13 W moves 5/13 NC 05/13 D final 8/13
