Mimi, it's great you're contemplating all these things. You're learning and growing, which is all we can do while going through this.
You said, "When I was younger it was hard for me to see the future & make plans, after getting married seeing the future and making plans became much easier. Now I'm back to square one, not knowing what direction to take, what's the right thing to do. It's worst for me now b/c I'm 30 w/ no direction, not the best place to be IMO"
That's a common feeling, but try to see it as a perception. You are not your marital status or who you're with. You're YOU, and you're amazing. So start by seeing your future in a positive way. If you do, positive things will start showing up into your life. When you go to sleep tonight, imagine a happy future (lots of details) instead of going over your sitch or what your H might or might not do. You'll start to see the difference.
