Maybe i need to do a better job of thinking things through when i receive texts from her. I try to stay calm, but it seems like she is trying to coerce me into a negative reaction so she can continue to justify her actions. I might be mind reading a bit on that, but i sometimes wonder why she wants to turn everything i say around.
I have been battling through this since just after Christmas, and i just don't see any hope. Yet i keep telling others on here to have hope. Maybe that is where my anxiety lies since i just want a sign or something to fall out of the sky and hit me on the head telling me i am doing things the right way, or the wrong way, or anything at all. I feel like i am pounding my head into a wall looking for something that isn't there and that is why i am questioning whether or not post D if there is anything i should do differently.
I struggle with wanting to ask her out to a casual dinner so we can see if things could be different, but i am just unsure of when the right time is, or if i am supposed to wait until she makes the first move. She always wanted and needed more attention from me, so that is why i feel like i should go this route. But something is telling me to wait, and then and hour later the anxiety returns.
What a crazy life we all have.
Me: 41 W: 36 M:9 yrs Together: 12 yrs Kids S7 S4 BD: 01/13 W filed 5/13 D final 8/13
