The right DB strategy is to detach and begin moving on with your life. Begin to embrace this new reality, as hard as that seems at times.
Again I know what you mean by the "right DB strategy". I was looking for the recipe, the cook book, that said if I follow these steps I have the best chance to R with my W. That type of thinking had everything I did centered on W and her thoughts and got me nowhere, probably further behind. Somewhere along the way I started figuring out that the DB strategy isn't just about saving our M's, it's about saving ourselves. The best chance for things to work out in the end is for you to become the best person YOU can be. It may, or may not, end up with your W but you will be improved and happy with who you are. That's all you can control...
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
