W: maybe call me sometime instead of texting, then i don't need to read into your texts. You always try to find something wrong with me every time you text. So i guess, what has gotten into you?
When you feel ready, maybe you should follow her suggestion and call sometimes when plans concerning the kids need to be made, instead of texting.
It could be a way to work on communication skills and making sure you are both on the same page concerning your kids.
Originally Posted By: shouldistillhope
W: I don't tell anyone about you or how you act. I would like a plan so this doesn't happen anymore. I don't like you thinking one thing, and me thinking another. That was one of our marriage issues. I like plans. You also mentioned at one time about a different job and i would like to know how that stands because that does involve me from what you said before. To many things unknown in all aspects of my life right now and i don't like not being organized.
M: Yes, those were issues. I wish i would have handled things differently with you because maybe things could have been different. You always meant the world to me, i never cared as deeply for anyone as i cared for you. But now i have been forced to re think everything i ever though about marriage. I guess that means i need to go in a different direction. I would love to have the chance to talk to you sometime in the future, but things are different now.
In my opinion, try to stay away from this sort of talk. #1 no relationship talk past/present #2 it was kind of negative and you should be showing her a positive and happy you.
If she likes plans to be made, maybe that's a 180 opportunity. When it comes to dealing w/ her and the kids, learn how to come up with a plan and present it to her, or work together with her on the planning.
It may make things less stressful on you both.
Originally Posted By: shouldistillhope
I said goodbye to my kids and i then proceeded to give the top of her head a quick rub and tell her goodbye.
Can someone help me pick this apart a bit? I am not sure post D exactly how i am supposed to react to her anymore.
I texted her this morning giving her some details about my potential new career and then i apologized to giving her a quick rub on her head and told her i made a bad decision. I haven't yet heard any replies.
Is rubbing her head a bad thing, or was that an affectionate thing? If it's an affectionate touch that came natural to you, why apologize? Try your best to relax when you see her, smile, treat her kindly, as you would a friend. If that entails non-sexual touching at times cool, as long as she doesn't seem to react negatively to it.
Was texting her about your potential job & apologizing necessary? Try to stick to only contacting her about plans for the kids and anything that's really important that she needs to know.
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
