This life is more than just a read through

[TSquared2]

Not much going on that is different, so not much to update.

Realized last night that is only been a couple months since our "anniversary D talk", but seems much longer ago.

W got the job, it was interesting that she was ambivalent about it, happy, but not...maybe it is just the change, and a true step out from being a SAHM, or maybe that she will lose the "freedom" of being a volunteer who can just not go in that day, idk...won't unless/until she talks about it. Of course I congratulated her and all very enthusiastically.

School starts in 3 weeks, no signs of W's imminent departure or any words yet as to stay or go...big steps for the kids entering middle school and high school each...they are nervous, but excited.

S1 texted me last night from fire to make sure I was okay, he had a nightmare where I got some illness or something and died the next day, tore up his sleep...odd.

I am feeling sorta like a broken record, "3rd verse same as the 1st"...lol.

Eh, whatever, September is re-eval month, and 2 years from BD#1 anniversary, this week is 2 years from when she created her first online adult profile (of many)... I note these in passing, because I am not really all that bothered, not much emotional reaction going on...sort of like remembering a long lost friend...yes, it happened, but it has passed. I guess this is what "letting go" of those things feels like. And I ponder the changes, the growth, the journey of all this.

The self help books about her space include the gamut...recovering from guilt, fixing broken relationships, "conscious" loving, menopause, money issues, etc...I haven't looked into them, just at the titles...but some are ones I have read, that we have had around for years, before mlc even. A couple are mine actually. So, just yet another observation... lol

My stand is still unchanged...if she wants to stay and work on a new R, I will give it my all, and I still believe in that it can be great, and that she can work this stuff out, that we can be a great couple again. If she doesn't, I won't fight it anymore, and file to give her her D, and move forward and/or on.

As always, comments, thoughts etc welcome...