Am I kidding myself.

[Hopefull2]

Thanks RH, so glad to hear your sitch continues to improve...

You ask how W's feelings have changed. That would be the million dollar question. She is still very guarded.

When I twisted her arm to go out for her birthday she was very guarded towards me but cordial and she did enjoy herself and thanked me for the night out. Before I left out of town I bought her some flowers and a card and left it on her patio. She texted me and thanked me for the night out and for the flowers, she said she really enjoyed herself.

over the next month we have had occasional text sessions. She called after I had a car accident to see how I was. So in general friendly interactions but more of the same...

My last trip home was last week. I had texted her to let her know I was going to be in town for only a few days and that I would like to see her and possibly do dinner or a movie. She had been struggling with some health issues (more later) so I left it pretty open ended. We did meet for an early dinner and generaly just caught up on things. No R talk or pressure... I again left her a nice blooming plant (my G-Daughter helped pick out) and a card on her patio. She thanked me like three times via text over the next two days....

On the health issues. Here is where my detachment begins to be tested. Understand she has said a while back that she had not spoke to OM (doctor) in some time. I truly believe that. Well guess who she contacts in regards to her health issue??? yep So my emotions are somewhat spun up but as Snodderly would tell me, let go let God.... Exactly what I need to do. Do not read more into this than might be there.... But this is one of my triggers and is what led to me asking her to leave. I will not be in a relationship where I am second on the list... not going to happen!!

I truly sense that she really does not know what she wants. She wants to hold on to "us" but there is so much MLC stuff going through her mind (guilt, freedom, grass is greener, what if...)

So in an attempt to "test the waters" a bit I send her the song by Pink "Just Give Me A Reason". She responds that this is a good song and she bought it a while back, says "it says a ton". She adds that she wishes she could tell me what she is thinking but her mind is in overload with so many things going on. A very cordial response. I replied that I understood and that I would be patient. Kind of wish I hadn't said that...

But patient I will be for awhile longer. Like T2 says he evaluates in 3 month increments ( seems what I remember). I do want this to work but as more time passes I admit that I have started to evaluate if the grass is greener out there....