Not Again?!

[doubledown]

Thank you. I appreciate your encouragement and prompt responses. It really helps to have an interaction with people who understand and can empathize with this experience.

Joanne mentioned that criterion to me as well and it's a good check & balance to follow. I took your advice and researched the "affair fog". It makes complete sense. However, I do find myself now wondering what stage my W is in. I don't really know a specific date when they began this EA/PA, but it seems that the expressions of love, desire and a fantasy life together are a product of the past 2+ months or so. Considering that, it makes me wonder how long the fog will last and at what point, if any, will W decide to take action or make a move toward advancing their relationship with regard to moving out of our home, moving in with OM etc.

Although it's been fairly managable to stay positive and focus on DB techniques, I know it must be so much easier to do this while W is completely unaware of what I know and still coming home each night to me. I can only imagine how it will be if and when she reveals the relationship or announces an intention to leave, move out, etc. That will be a totally different dynamic. Not one I'm looking forward to.

While I have the benefit of time, I'll work hard at being the best Dad I can be and demonstrate what the future will be like as her husband by consistently doing 180's and working to improve myself for me, my boys and my wife.

The hardest part is working so hard and not being able to see anything develop or change in her actions or tone. Especially when she stands 8 feet away and sends "goodnight", "I love you" emails to OM while I sit on the couch with my boys. That's a red hot dagger in the heart.