Emotional Connection and Attraction

[workinprogress]

Sounds like I need to read this book, what you wrote hit on quite a few things for me. Also being the one who's desire came and went during our 32 years together, feelings of unmet needs do come into play. As early as when we were dating, situations arose where my spouse ( boyfriend ) at the time, didn't stand up for me or didn't consider my feelings over his family's or friend's feelings. This really hurt and made me feel as if I came second or third. It was and is a real desire killer. It seems as if there is something buried that the other guy met. This is what needs to be addressed, but NOT now. She doesn't sound like she is feeling safe yet. Do you two communicate best verbally or written? Sometimes it is easier to express oneself in writing . This way one may read and re-read without interruptions. Choose words and thoughts carefully, edit and re-write things. Perhaps writing your thoughts about asking her what she needs. Not telling her what your needs are at present. What does she need emotionally, around the home, sexually, and physically? Once her needs are met, you can bet she'll feel more connected to you, and she will be able to step out of herself ( sadness, guilt, withdrawing...) and be able to give. Have you read " His Needs Her Needs" ? As a woman, there were many things the author hit on the head! You are so lucky she is still under your roof!