It was tough yesterday. I'd like to say "Oh, I didn't even think about this day 23 years ago while I went out and had a fantastic time" but that wasn't the case. I spent the day watching my youngest get into a new video game. Anytime I would start doing something else, he wanted me to watch and help him with the strategy (it is a really good game requiring detective skills).
There are several things that keep me going. First, my relationship (and promise) to God. Second, my children. Too many times over the years, they have implied that they miss times past (when we were all together). They don't ever say "I wish you and mom were back together." Instead, it is about the things we all did together. And they never want to do them anymore, which I am sure because it is too painful a reminder. I know that when their mom took them to some of the places we went, they would complain to me later about their siblings being a pest and that they didnt have a good time (I never push or pry).
In reading a recent CharlyneCares newsletter, the person writing reminded me of the covenant between my wife and I and God. What is a promise if it isn't kept. And He may make things extremely discomforting in order to "persuade" the right choices. Regardless, I believe that if I really love unconditionally, I will do what is right for my W and our children, even if it hurts at times.
