I feel better for a little while then worse again. I wish I could get to that point everyone says I should be at where I just decide he's cheated and I don't want him back. But I'm not there yet. I'd be lying if I said I was.
He's pretty adamant this marriage is done.
I'm trying to focus on action. It makes me feel better. Trying really hard to get the house ready to sell. That's taking up most of my time these days. But I hope to have it on the market by the weekend.
I have my 5th of 6 phone sessions with my coach tomorrow.
I have an advising appointment with the college on Wednesday. One of his complaints was that I'm lacking ambition, plus I've been a stay at home mom for 11 years and will need a job.
I'm going to a wine bar with a new friend this week - he also complained I'm not social enough.
Still making a point to never let him see me in gym clothes, another complaint.
Still running, with friends and alone.
Focusing on keeping my conversations with him just about the kids, bills and the weather. No relationship talk.
He is concerned about me dating and moving on. What is that about? He tells me he does not want to be married, this relationship is done. But then makes comments about me not dating and waiting for him after his next relationship fails. Or us remarrying in the future. Is he just being nice? Giving me false hope? I ask him why he cares and he gets grumpy. "Did I say I care?!"
I don't know. How do I respond when he asks about me dating? I'm not doing it and absolutely wouldn't before the divorce is final...but I don't know what to say about that. I need a 180 answer.
