Don't know if it is okay to innitiate intimacy

[workinprogress]

I guess I was too vague about the MC. I'm not going alone. It was a Gottman method counselor. This means two people and the patient is the marriage. Since my husband declared he was "unsure" of working on the marriage, i.e. homework. There is nothing I can do . He doesn't like to "work" at things. Years ago, when I purchased this romance workbook which had sealed envelopes written to the spouses, he wouldn't do that either. So I guess this isn't a surprise. I don't know if I want to keep trying.
I know it has been since May, and to many this is a short time. To me it has been an eternity. Absence is not making my heart grow fonder, it does the opposite. We had been leading parallel lives and I ask myself, is this any different? I've been contemplating what I have and have not done. I then look back and think about what I let go, or forgave. I am feeling so ambivalent. I find myself looking at dating sites to see if I can keep myself busy and get some positive feedback and maybe meet new friends. I don't like not having something to keep my mind off of this whole situation. Apparently he hasn't acted on his desires yet, but I sure as heck don't want to be pining while he may decide to change his mind. If I sound perturbed it is because I'm angry with myself!