W thanked me today for "accepting service" and said "I'm sorry." (which means that this time when process server knocked on the door, I was actually awake).
Now I'm in back in a bout of deep heartache - thinking of OM and her again. If she had just wanted time apart and all that, I would be on board with that and able to focus more on the changes I need to make.
I'm still sticking to DBing up to and for some time after a D. We've been here before. Not sure if that makes the odds any better, the same, or much worse. Probably depends entirely on R with OM, just like last time. I know how strongly W feels our M wasn't real (a token, a M of convenience, etc. because we never had a "real" wedding). It's like we were just a couple living together. Anyway, I strongly believe she's taken all her problems to a new R that doesn't have a solid foundation. She, like many people, thinks you can't work on problems and that our behaviors are fixed in place, and the only solution is to find the magic person that makes it all ok. The Hollywood romance.
Time will tell.
I see no viable options for me staying here in the long term, but don't really see going "home" wherever that is. But, that's still ahead and I'm not looking beyond today right now.
