You sound good. And I completely agree that some arguments are healthy and being a doormat is not. Even in professional relationships I have always adhered to being clear about my boundaries from the beginning. It is all about respect.
R talks are the devil. There is really no lighthearted way to have them. May start out that way but..... Just be prepared for a volcano. My advice would be to let her continue to initiate despite her comments. If she initiates, she wants to talk and is ready on some level to talk. It is another way of letting them keeping their own timeline, if that makes sense.
