It doesn't bother me, and she could have taken all the stuff in one truckload, and I wouldn't have cared. I had said she could have whatever she wants, because it's just stuff. Maybe she took me at my word. So, going back on that does nothing for my character.
If I leave this place, I'm taking nothing with me but a few keepsakes and some clothes. That's not depression speaking, or a flippant reaction. In addition to working to pay off debts for many years, we have gotten rid of tons of stuff (dejunking, as they say). About the only thing I've failed to scale back on is tools. If I don't leave this place, there's still more stuff here than I want or need.
I've mentioned before that she's inherently selfish (by her own admission). She attributed it to being only child with an absent father, an abusive alcoholic mother, and problems with her step-father. She said she never learned to share well. She may have an inflated sense of entitlement to stuff, and financial help from me, but so far it's been within my own personal boundaries.
The one thing that really hurts is that she left on her birthday, before I got up. I had her birthday gift and card ready. Later on when she first came over to get some stuff, she put them in a cabinet, and there they sit. Every time I see them behind the glass door, it makes me a bit sad, but I haven't had the heart to do anything with them. I suppose could mail them to her, and she could toss them out if she wants. For now, I've just been acting like I haven't even noticed.
About the snooping:
I, too, felt that the snooping into my notebook was an invasion of privacy. We've both done that before and have had "discussions" about it - not productive ones, but heat of the moment stuff. I didn't mention much about it at the time, because it would have just been more pushing away.
From things she said, I think she believes I must have someone (she's always been very jealous, and given the state of our love life, she probably thinks I must have had another outlet). She called me on my friendship with a female friend back in CO I met on this forum - and at one point it may have drifted to EA status, but that was back in our first separation. Not saying that makes it right, but often the LBS feels the need to have someone to confide in to make them feel human and desirable again. She said I should consider that option and go back to CO. When I explained that there was no physical/emotional connection there, she said sarcastically that it's clear that "I'm a better person than her."
