wife hardends heart-2

[planet]

I spend more time with the kids all week than W does. She's GALling late every weekday. I took care of the kids without help most weekends. I don't mind it at all. It's my kids.
If i start planning weekend dinner only with my kids, then it would be no mommy time.

I have been accommodating regarding the D agreement. I agree.
But giving away the house and not having my kids move which would be stressful to them is not what i want for my kids. She have custodial rights. If she ever tries to restrict my visitations or not informing me about their whereabouts, she will face legal action from me.
I'm in a financial mess right now. Not in the best position to do anything foolish. FYI, W paid for the D agreement.

Anyway, i will e-mail my L to see what will be more balanced.
Thank you newman for your insight.

[newman7977]

"If i start planning weekend dinner only with my kids, then it would be no mommy time."

She is more than welcome to join, her choice if mommy time gets affected. And you have a choice to get daddy time in with your kids.

To me it's too vague --"unrestricted visitation"...so what is that? Are you going to supplement this with a more specific visitation schedule?

[planet]

She is more than welcome to join, her choice if mommy time gets affected. And you have a choice to get daddy time in with your kids.

Ha! right on! I'm seriously not attracted to her at this moment but i guess dinner is alright.

To me it's too vague --"unrestricted visitation"...so what is that? Are you going to supplement this with a more specific visitation schedule?

I can visit my kids anytime of the day. VERY late into the night as well. I can take them out for few days for a holiday but must inform W beforehand 24hours beforehand. 24hours thing is not written in stone but advisable.

[newman7977]

[quote=newman7977]She is more than welcome to join, her choice if mommy time gets affected. And you have a choice to get daddy time in with your kids.

Ha! right on! I'm seriously not attracted to her at this moment but i guess dinner is alright.

Has nothing to do with your attraction to W but it's about the kids and time with their mom. You really need to get your focus OFF the W and focus on you and your kids.

[newman7977]

^^^oops I screwed up the quote box...

But this is my reply :

Has nothing to do with your attraction to W but it's about the kids and time with their mom. You really need to get your focus OFF the W and focus on you and your kids.

[planet]

Don't care if there's no mommy time?

[MrBond]

"Don't care if there's no mommy time?"

Of course you have to care if there is mommy time. But the problem I see is that EVERY time to you is mommy time. Daddy time is just as important because YOU are going to model to your daughters the type of man they will eventually marry.

If you let your W run all over you, dictate how your relationship will be (especially since she's with another man) AND take the children whenever she feels like it, then that's what your D's will do to their H's and the cycle continues.

Just a friendly word of advice. Unless you start putting your foot down, your W will not respect you. And as long as she doesn't respect you, you will not save your M.

If you want your kids to see your parents, then take them. Your W doesn't need to be there. And when did you start letting a woman who is in an A tell YOU what is right and what is wrong?

[lost_hope]

Planet. Step in and demand to see your kids anytime you want. If you truly have 100% access then utilize it as much as possible. Children need both parents, which is why this S and D thing hurts them so much. Make it as least painful as possible. Also with your parents she can't demand that she be there during visits. That's leaving her too much power. From what you tell us she takes your kids around the OM without you. An average person would see that as a much bigger issue than the grandparents thing. Also how much do you know about this OM? Please make sure he's respectable enough to be around your kids.

[planet]

I'm confused here.
I spend more time with my Ds. I help out with D4's school work. I read them their books. I bathe them. I fed them. I even spend most weekend nights in their room. D3 wakes up often so i have to be there. I take them to the park alone. Started with the mall too. I play with them and my kids demand that I do, I just can't get away even if I wanted to. I'm learning to do all of this without W. Some of those are my 180.
W is somehow aping what I do and tried to squeeze in mommy time. W doesn't even do half of what I do.

I should not allow W taking the girls out whenever OM is involved? I dont even know when he's involved and she's not telling but I think it's weekly now. i can't keep asking what she does, who she goes out with. He's not allowed in the house and I reaffirmed that to W two nights ago and she went all crazy and venomous. She still see OM as close friend. I can't tell her to her face she's having an EA. Translation is a problem too.

The problem with my family goes back years. My kids haven't visited my parents since February before the bomb. W goes into this weird mode whenever my parents wants to visit two years back. I have to lie to them so W could feel better. Breaks my heart.

Lost_hope. I don't have to demand to see my kids. I haven't moved out yet. I'm there at home all the time. OM deeds is not respectable but I think he's not a monster.

[lost_hope]

Ok good planet! I was confused by some of the advice given so glad to know you're always there. . Good luck.