Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...

[chasingpavements]

But when King H (as Mz. J would say - that just tickles me!) approaches me, Chuck said to be approachable and lovely and sweet and fun. That it's good to have fun together. We do talk a lot, but sometimes the conversation or activity seems to get too much for him and he leaves. Sometimes without a word. TVS gave me some good advice - to leave while we're still having fun or a nice conversation. 

Hi RosaLinda! Thanks for stopping by! Thanks for the advice. I do think that having fun together is important right now. For a while when I was DB'ing I was not talking to H much, and just giving him space, and things were starting to get tense between us. I find that having a few laughs lightens the tension sometimes. Other times he is not in the mood for talking. We are having a nice weekend, and have been talking a lot more than usual, and I have started to see part of his old self come back. It almost feels normal

I like the idea you mentioned about leaving the conversation or interaction while it is still going good. I find I do still feel a bit rejected if things start going sour, and he becomes grumpy. The more that I read on this forum, I see that it is common for the WAS's to act this way, silent, distant and grumpy, with mood swings. I am trying not to take it personal. I have to keep telling myself it is not my fault as I tend to feel guilty about everything. Like perhaps I feel that I am holding him against his will to stay here. But that's silly because I know he could leave at any time if he wanted.

You are right that we have all never experienced anything like this before! It's a crazy feeling. I feel that I have started to realize how strong I am, for how I am dealing with everything. I think some of my friends think I am crazy for not taking more action with H, but I think that DB'ing is my best option right now, and that he would have been long gone if I hadn't started DBing.