Sleeper, I am sorry to read that your mother passed away. I agree w/Wendy, i.e., speak w/the funeral home director and advise him/her of the situation and they can usually arrange visitation at different times for those who are not "really" welcome. They are use to doing things such as this.
I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
