"When I have negative thoughts about people I always think back to my goal of forgiving, and I feel relieved. I don't know why I've spent so many years building up hate towards others. Probably because I don't stand up to myself and just let the hate grow."

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Once you get through that, you'll lose resentment towards others. It takes time, but you're definitely on your way.

Does your H know that you're coming back? Did he say anything to you?

As hard as it is, try not to be afraid. You are worth it and there is hope. When you do go back home though, you should try to be as changed and confident as possible. Have you ever seen the movie Grease? At the end, the main character Sandy changes into a "bad girl" which was the opposite of how she was before. As the "bad girl" she was confident, attractive and had everyone noticing. You don't need to take it that far, but in a way you need to show your confidence to your H and also show the new, understanding and compassionate you.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER