Thanks DMR and Cadet Hope you feel better today 2old, I know I do My anger has subsided for now
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
That's good My anger has subsided as well I'd had a couple of glasses of wine last night and it seems to affect me more because I'm on anti depressants. Normally I dilute it with lemonade, but I didn't last night.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Well, so much for anger. Had a great day yesterday for the most part GALing. Then this morning I go to facebook and there is a pic of my WAW, her well to do son, her other son and my stepdaughter from 3 months ago when W went to grandaughters graduation. My W does not have a facebook page never has, but son in laws wife tagged my stepdaughter in this pic last nite apparently. Since im friends on FB with stepdaughter I was treated to seeing this pic. Now, pain once again creeps in as she looked great and once again I feel the pain of missing her. This absolutely (explicitive). We have had no contact for 2 weeks now not since she initiated about her questions for her car registration. I'm told she cant be as all happy as she appears and she has got to have some pain herself but, really? WAW feel pain too?Never in our 12 year history did we go with days and months of not talking on the phone. She is hurting? Somehow I just cant believe this. And yes, she spends hours online when she is not working. Tyring180 I know this because when she logs onto google she pops up on my GMail. I know I should delete her so I cant see her on there but....So, if she was to be hurting or even missing me a little and our two little dogs whom she loved so much how is she able to not contact me even a little? She has her son and family taking care of her now maybe I should just accept she is perfectly happy to have them with no regrets about how she left. No regrets? I feel like emailing her to please end this and get the D done.
The PAIN that she has is not the same as your PAIN. You can not see it cause it is deep inside her, hidden from the world. Torturing her and holding her captive. She wears a MASK for everyone to see so that they will not know about this tremendous force that has decended inside of her. She runs away from it trying hard to keep going and keep up appearances. All this is on adrenalin and the flight or fight response of her body. She may fear that she is going to die if she doesnt keep running. It has NOTHING to do with YOU. You are just an innocent bystander.
Let her run, at some point she will not be able to any more.
Protect yourself as best you can from the PAIN that she causes.
DO you understand this about her PAIN? DO you need to know what causes it? More than likely it is hormonal depression, with maybe some childhood issues thrown in. Were there any illnesses or deaths in her family recently? Any other significant events that happened?
Again this is all about her, not about YOU or your relationship. The relationship is just a casualty of the bomb blowing up.
Wow Cadet, There is alot in what you posted for me. Yes, 1 year and 10 months ago her Mom passed. They were not close as my W always said she was really mean to her growing up. Even so we always visited her and they got along okay. Her Dad has also some limited dimentia going on and we both loved him. Her brother who she doesn't really talk or get along with anymore has taken over his care but no contact anymore from any of them. One reason for this we believed is that my W DID NOT attend her mothers funeral because of family disputes. My W has 9 brothers most are strange also. Now, I completely agree this has some hormonal elements but doesn't it some of this half to be with me also? Also, I agree with the assessment she may be running with adrenaline to keep her pain hidden. I dont for one minute believe she is completely happy living alone in her paid for Condo. Cadet, she knows all to well I always tried doing right for and by her. Not to say I didnt screw up with issues as I previously mentioned since I have been here. We did have issues. But, theres just so much that doesn't make sense about her leaving that alot of what you said above has got to be somewhat to very true. This is what drives me nuts. If it was really something like physical violence etc then I could deal with this crap a whole lot easier. So I am leaning on what you just posted above hoping it will help me to deal a little better. I am for the moment holding to not emailing anything to her as to morrow will be 2 weeks since any contact which by the way was initiated by her by giving me her new phone number in a surprise email. Although it was short and to the point she was driven by something to provide it to me. Weird, weird stuff because again, we havent talked on phone since she left 3 months ago. I put alot of things down here again so you can see that the facts of my WAW that you might see why I find this so difficult to deal with. Yes, I am doing better but as you know, it can still hurt 3 months after the fact. Let me ask you, you really see this as part of a bigger issue (a bomb in her blowing up) and doing this? I ask u as a vet because honestly when I really try to understand her and why, I cannot put logic to this mess.....Thanks again Cadet
2old, My H is the same. He has a lot of hurt inside and a lot of it probably isn't related to me. He had a lot going on at the start of the year, that took him into a deep depression. Hearing a lot of this story makes me think that your wife did the same. She she have treatment or counselling when her dad died? My H refuses to have medication or counselling and his depression goes up and down. I think the reason that my H left and may why your W left is to do with not getting help for their depression. Try not to look at any pages on FB to do with her family. I guess you've read Sandi's rules and this is one of the rules that Sandi has stated. She also says it will only upset you and it does. I went to my H's page on Saturday as I do occasionally and now I'm convinced he is having an affair with this much older woman. Crazy I know, but it's my fault for going to look at his FB page. It probably is unfounded as well, it's just my mind working overtime!
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Hi Trying, it was her mother that died and no she didnt have treatment for depression. She didn't seemed depressed either. The FB post was not of my choice. The pic was posted by her sons wife for my W's daughter as she was in it also. And because I am friends with stepdaughter I get to see it. So, it was not like I was looking for anything there. My W doesnt even do FB.
You can set FB so you don't get the photos on your wall or any notifications from any particular person. I'm not telling you to delete them, but it'll hurt you if you keep seeing pictures of her. So you don't think it was depression that drove your W away then? It is a confusing time and if you've not been told why she left then it is all guesswork. Good for you 180ing and GALing, keep up the good work Don't worry about why she left, just concentrate on you
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Hope you feel better today 2old, I know I do 
