Run and hide your crazy

[mizjjd]

Hi Linda!

"Just a woman" is one of H's go to phrases.

Yeah, the dreams are definitely bittersweet. Thank heavens I don't have them too often!

He said "well I don't." End of conversation.

That was harsh RL. Sorry you are having to deal with that.

I guess they can't care what they're doing to us because that on top of whatever else they're dealing with would probably kill them.

The fact that my H can't conceive of him not being the deciding person in all this boggles my mind. Its a side effect of his super-ego I suppose. Its almost comical, while being tragic too.

H: Its a long time to be married. Its a long time to even think of to toss aside. Its a long time to be unhappy. Its a long time and even longer to come to just settle. It will take a long time to figure out.

This bit ^^ stuck in my craw. Tell me, just from what YOU know of my H, would he have done anything that "made him unhappy" for over 20 years!! He doesn't go 20 seconds with anything that bothers him!! And if he's been so flipping unhappy WITH ME why the BLEEP doesn't he GO GO GO! (Stomping feet and waving my fist.) In fact, I asked him during the god-awful talk. "If the twins were 18 now, would you go?" HE SAID NO.

I guess, we aren't the only ones in Limbo. Our spouses aren't gone, but they aren't here either.

I have applied for the Healthy Start stuff, so has S20. The probs are that we are only a family of 4 now, as far as under age kids go. With H and my incomes together we are about $1000 over the annual cut off of income. S20, because he lives with us, doesn't qualify because he has no bills? Idk, that's what they said. Even if I show that he does pay me rent - which he does. ($200/month) The only one who qualifies is D19 lol. This is sort of odd because generally speaking, when she has a job, she makes more than S20, but there's some special program for 18-19 year olds. SMH. Its one of those cases where if I worked less I could receive more in benefits/assistance.

I really appreciate you going to the trouble that you did for my family RL. I'm very touched

We are hopeful that S20 might get full time work before the end of the year and then he could enroll in health insurance through work. If I can get full time, then that could take care of the rest of us.

I did ask, during my review, about going full time. My manager said he'd speak to the CEO because it is supposed to be a possibility at some point. And, if H chooses to become a long haul trucker there might be opportunities there too. (BTW, review went fine, and I got a $0.50/hr raise That's right, I now make $11/hr. But, I only get 25 hrs per week there. Sigh.)

H & twins return tomorrow. H goes to the Dr about his back on Tuesday. I don't know WHAT is going on regarding that sitch but H seems to be in a terrific amount of pain.

I haven't seen or heard from D19 since the phone call regarding the drug test

Sports season is fast approaching! Soon the J house will be all about S17A's football and S17B's soccer and the NFL! (I'm still very curious to know how H is going to see all the kids' games, all the NFL games, work and gamble. Ah well, all things are possible for the King.)

Cheers!