I understand I need to disengage and I feel I am working towards that. That is a good positive statement When your W was living with you, did she do all the organising and arranging things? If she did then I can understand how all of a sudden you are feeling lost as to what to do. I hope you don't mind but I've thought of another good idea for you. You could do some voluntary work as well as looking for a paid job. This will look good on your CV, gain you some experience in that line of work and sometimes you can get perks like travel paid for or courses you get sent on that further develop your qualifications and experience Have a look in your local newspaper to see what's happening in your area. There may be something in there that takes your fancy You still seem to concentrate too much on your W in your posts and not your GALs. I do understand how annoying it must be for you when you don't hear from your W, but things can only get better Go out and GAL and word may get back to your W on how you're getting on with things and not moping around If your W hears what you're doing at the mo, would it all be positive news or will it be more of the same old, same old? Don't deliberately tell a mutual family member or friend what you're doing as well. You need to be seen to be doing, not just talk. Remember actions speak louder than words
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I agree LBH I'm beginning to feel like I'm banging my head against a wall with you 2old. You're getting all these good ideas and posts and all you answer us back with is what your W may think about this and that and why she won't answer you etc. As LBH says, you need to focus on yourself and stop worrying about your W. The time will come when you will need to worry about your W, but for now and for your own well being start focusing on yourself I hope I'm not sounding too harsh because the last thing I want to do is to upset someone. I hope you will at least take on board some of the things that the posters have been saying.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
My thought is she is seeing how long I might go without emailing something.
You don't get it. She is not waiting on you to do anything. She just wants to be left alone. She is planning her life without you. Will that ever change? Who knows, but it won't change until she's ready for it to change. It's not about you or what you are doing.
You really....REALLY need to move on with your life. Get your eyes off her business and her life. You aren't too old, but you sure aren't getting any younger pinning away for somebody who doesn't want to be with you.
Trust me, if she changes her mind, she'll let you know.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
No, I have been taking it in Trying and all others. I think at this time I am starting to feel angry about it all. I know I'm angry at the moment. I haven't really felt this much as I do now so maybe I am crossing the line so to speak. As leftcoast said this (censored). I will be working on my galing much more seriously....I promise.....
I hope you're not angry at us Mind you I'd have a sore head by now after being hit by all these 2x4s lol. I'm glad you've been taking it in and you're going to be working harder on your GALs. I can't wait to hear about them
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
No, I am not angry at anyone here, I AM angry at WAW though for really the first time in the 3 months since she went bye bye. The way she did it etc etc. Anyways I understand this is a phase and I need to and am dealing with it. I read the links that Cadet had loaded up a few days ago and they make sense.
I AM angry at WAW though for really the first time in the 3 months since she went bye bye. The way she did it etc etc. Anyways I understand this is a phase and I need to and am dealing with it. I read the links that Cadet had loaded up a few days ago and they make sense.
If you look at the LBS stages anger is one of them, so you are correct that this stage will pass for you too!
I believe the LBS goes through the stages of grief.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Is this in order? because I got angry as well tonight but I've already been through the bargaining and depression stages, lol. I was approaching the acceptance stage but something happened tonight that made me jumped back a few steps. Does this mean I've now got to go through the bargaining about depression stages again? Am I reading too much into this? lol. It's nearly 1am here, but I don't want to go to bed just yet.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
When your W was living with you, did she do all the organising and arranging things? If she did then I can understand how all of a sudden you are feeling lost as to what to do. 