Hey all. Just curious, why shouldn't I send a letter of apology? Wouldn't that at least help by letting her know I am truly sorry? I don't expect a response, I just want to do this because I feel it is right. Am I wrong? What is the reasoning behind it?
Do you realize you keep asking the same thing? You may change the words a little bit, but it's basically the same. You want to do, do, do, do something. No expectation? Of course you have expectations ! If you did write a letter and then heard absolutely nothing in return, you would be wondering what you could do, do, do next. B/c you still believe saving the M is based on something "you" can do. And, like most LBS's, you believe if you can just talk it out, you can work it out.
I'm sorry you are hurting so badly. I wish it were as simple as contacting her and saying just the right words to change her mind. But here is the cold harsh truth: as long as she has a third party in this M, she will not be ready to reconcile to being a faithful W to you. A woman can have sex with multiple partners all day long, but she will not be in love with two men at the same time. She may still care about you, but she does not feel "in love" with you......and won't as long as she wants this OM in any part of her life.
The OM could be sent to the moon and it would not get him out of her head. There is nothing you can do to control her thoughts. And the more you try to contact her, the more disgust she will have toward you. Is that what you want?
By now, you are wanting to ask me, but what can I do, do, do? At this point, you need to look at yourself and ask, "What can I be, be, be?".
Until you get past this mindset of doing something, you will not listen to any of us. I hope you get weary of that idea quickly and want to take a different approach.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
