It hurts because it isn't what you planned. And there is plenty of advise from people to wait it out. Well after a long while of waiting it out, you get tired. And most likely you have the anxiety with the pain in the chest feeling. I had that for a long time.
Last year I finally took myself to a yoga retreat and learned to meditate. It was intense. But on the 3rd day I realized the pain in my heart/chest was gone. It tries to come back now and then, but I just put in some more time meditating and then I feel better. It give me a feeling like I am in an ocean of calm.
I was also having trouble sleeping, so I got some books that go along with the Buddhist thoughts, and would read a little of one of those books before I went to bed. So my brain had something to chew on besides my situation.
The book that first grabbed me was a book called: "Smile at Fear". My DIL had a pile of books on my counter. I picked up that book and flipped it open and happened to read the passage that related to the title. The whole saying is smile at fear and then step on it. And so I have. I plastered the yoga smile on my face and have stepped through all the scary things involved with getting through this process.
I actually am crying a little now, because I went mentally back to that day. But it was a turning point for me. So I hope this helps you. Save yourself and take care of your precious children.
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!