I am trying to stay busy. Different things here and there. Still on the job hunt also. As far as the mail she did direct it to her awhile back. I had wrote about this 2 or 3 weeks ago. She wanted me to do it for her but told her she had to do it online because of an affidavit. But the mail is coming to me here at my daughters home since I cancelled our PO Box. Just wasnt necessary to pay for it with so little coming in. And yes, her mail was important enough to have to mail. Suks, but I'm sure she wont thank me for sending it to her as she seems to be content to stay quiet again herself. Either she is waiting for me to iniate something again or she just doesn't need anything from me at this time. I know, no expectations. Im just trying to be sure I need to stay quiet with her right now....
Yes you still need to be quiet with her I think Ask the vets on here, but I'm sure you should So apart from the job hunt, what are the here and there things that you're doing? If you don't want to tell me then that's fine, but the busier you are the less you'll think about your W It's a shame that you have to keep redirecting the mail to her, but in a way it's good because it's a regular contact with her. You probably don't think so as you are not communicating with her at the mo, but as the weeks go by then I feel sure that she'll be in touch But don't let that worry you at the mo, you are too busy to think about her at the mo Take on board what Cadet says and the link that he gave you Now go and GAL, lol I'm off to bed now as it's 12midnight here now
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I dont mind saying my GAL but i have got to get more going though. Been going with D here and there and trying out different things. Hopefully Cadet will read the above threads and again comment about going dark especially. It would seem that this could be a long period of darkness as she is continually online and no contact not even a thanks for mail. So, in the mind of a WAW she's gone dead cold again. Had thought there might be an opening in her but its exactly the opposite. Very strange stuff I will tell you....I think that I should stay quiet though no matter how long it goes...My thought is she is seeing how long I might go without emailing something.
2old the more you chase her the more she will run. That includes emails. There is a great analogy someone wrote on these boards about catching a squirrel. If I find it ill post it. Let her go in your heart and mind. Your expectations are detrimental to your well being. Drop them
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
How do you know 2old that she is continually online? She might've changed since she left you and may only go online once or twice a week maybe. I know that my H used to go on his PC every day and play games. Now he watches more TV, I know this as him and my son were having a convo about this today I spend more time on my PC and very rarely watch TV now. My H commented today that I didn't used to have a hot drink, but I said if I have visitors round then I do have a drink. He either heard that comment and ignored it or didn't hear it, but didn't answer when I called him a visitor, hehe. I agree with Rick, you need to let her go in order to get her back. This may sound crazy but it's happened to me about 12 years ago. My H had an affair and I just gave up I suppose. 8 months down the line, he wanted to come home and I had to seriously think about it as I had moved on. I took him back for the sake of the family unit, it's much better to be together than apart Remember 2old, you've got a long way to go yet. Don't waste your energy thinking about what she's doing and when she's going to email you. Rick is right, it is not good for your well being. I'd like to see this analogy about a squirrel as well, that sounds intriguing My H came to take my son to his for the weekend. I popped into town to do a bit of shopping and I'm lucky to have a couple of friends down there who own shops so I popped in to say hello. I've just been invited out by one of my friends to a show in Sept and we're going to make it a night out I can't wait Life is what you make it 2old, it won't come looking for you, you've got to go looking for it
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
The squirrel is something that I have written I think, or at least rewritten from what I remember.
Goes something like this.
Have you ever tried to feed a squirrel? The best way is to hold out your hand with the food and be perfectly STILL. Any sudden movements towards her or away from her will scare her away and send her scurrying away. Shouting at the squirrel and telling them to come get the food wont work either. Patience and TIME is the only way you will ever get the squirrel to eat out of your hand.
Originally Posted By: 2old
Well, I really appreciate the info I am getting just to let everyone know. It helps. Now another tough date is fast approaching on the 20th of this month. Yup, our 6th anniversary but 12 years together. Im guessing I dont acknowledge this date to her whatsoever correct? I cant even imagine what I could say or do.I continue to remail silent to her although I'm sure she received her mail today. I had to send it to her couldn't hold it back from her. That wouldn't of been right. Only her mail was sent and this time I did not email her with a heads up as I have done in the previous. Thoughts?
I think this is what you wanted me to comment on?
I would not acknowledge the anniversary. It is more pursuit.
The point of all this is that you want her to control the contact and to pursue YOU. If she was to give you a card then it would be fine to acknowedge or reciprocate but you dont want to scare the squirrel, you want it to come to you.
My thought is she is seeing how long I might go without emailing something.
You are giving her too much credit for thinking.
She is working on emotions and adrenalin right now. When that is not working then she is in a deep funk. She needs the space to process all of what is going on around her. Most of this has absolutely nothing to do with YOU. It is all about her. LET HER GO to work on these things. It is actually the most humane thing to do. Like coming upon a wounded animal and trying to pet it to give it comfort. It is more likely to snarl at you and bite you if you try this.
Good analogy Cadet Even if you've tamed the squirrel to come to eat out of your hand, you still won't be able to stroke it How's that for a further analogy? lol.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Thanks Cadet, Feel free to comment on anything you see I'm writing. Im beginning to feel that if she controls the contact it now may be a loooong time before I hear from her again. But, as you are saying its out of my control...And no, she wont be giving me a card that much I know. I understand I need to disengage and I feel I am working towards that. As long as I understand she seems perfectly happy to be having her son pay her condo living and enjoying her close knit family where she is at doesn't fair well for any kind of reconciliation even in the looong run. So quiet I shall remain and try to move on the best I can. Its probably a good thing she is 900 miles away.
Ask the vets on here, but I'm sure you should 
