Wish I were there! Boston is awesome and so are you guys. With closing the old house on the 1st and me having the girls this weekend I just could not do it. Keep me posted please, please on other road trips. I am in Southern Ontario, just outside Toronto. God Bless and have so much fun! This is good healing. Would love to know about the journey.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Bright, have you been able to think up some small fun stuff to send to H? A humorous postcard about dogs in general...or something like this. You know...need to rebuild your connection other than just business matters.
Sounds like a great time! Sorry I missed it - would definitely be interested in something in Sept
Me-48,W-51 M-22,T-24 S- 18,16,9 Feb-Jul '11 Away from Home, after initial B date Aug-Dec '11 Back at Home on couch Dec '11-now Same bedroom, room mates only Dec '14 W files initial D paperwork
Me: 27 H: 27 Together: 11, M: 3 S 2 BD: 06/24/13 Living together H: EA - unknown current status Read: DB, 5LL (slowly reading DR) Back and forth we go...
I posted a big update and it was eaten But yes, we all had fun and are planning for September (mid) if anyone is interested for the day on a Sunday
So H was out here on Saturday, and it was a little strange, because he knew I was in Boston, but really was unsure of with who etc. So he said something to the effect of how many, and I told him, three, and then I said something about Positive Spin and H said that you said it was all girls....I said no I did not, I think you assumed.
When I kissed him that evening he said "Oh you've been practicing..." I said "No." (Lol little fishing expedition there)
We had a huge talk on Sunday before the concert. He has started with some techniques in looking at his emotions from all sides, rather than just the one of, oh let's say "Hurt'. I.e. He said it really hurt when he was replaced so quickly and dumped by xgf, but if you look at the hurt from all sides or a different side, you find that maybe it isn't just hurt, it is ego and self esteem, rather than love for the person etc.
At least he has started his path He says he is jealous of me, I am months ahead of him emotionally and he wants to get to the place I am with everything. That it was my journey that sparked him to his own. He also said that there is no one else who makes him feel at peace except me. That my company, no matter in what context, brings him that feeling and he values it.
I also confessed to him. That when he said he would still be here if I hadn't forced the issue, that maybe I wouldn't have been, because I was not very happy either. But when it happened it forced me to evaluate what I wanted and the people I wanted in my life, one of which was him. That I would have worked on the marriage etc., but I was unhappy as well. I said that he was so unhappy with me, that why would someone like someone who didn't like them?
That perhaps the separation was the best thing that happened. H admitted he did not know what he wants or where he sees our relationship going. Kind of a "I don't know what will happen." He said I could be blindsided tomorrow by someone and I said that could be true. He asked about social experiment number one and I said I realize that I have to have an emotional, intelllectual connection, that the spark like that has to be there for me, just pretty isn't good enough.
H admitted that he is a bit shallow and looks also matter to him as well as personality. He also admitted that his best friend (male) saw me coming down the street and thought "Wow, here comes a hottie"...;p Of course, when he saw it was me he said it was like looking at his sister and thought "AAhhh...no!!" lmao. But it's good for H to know his friends think this way
Also H complained (mockingly but with truth) that H's friend and I communicate once in a while. H said jokingly you will have to choose....Friend said "no I don't, watch me. If Ruby calls, I'm not not picking up the phone."
After his xgf, let's cal her Massage Girl, left H or dear johned him all his friends said "Thank God...she was a bit of a nut case" H admitted she was a rebound. He also admitted that he can't be alone with him. MG wrote him and said "Oh you will find someone, you are attractive, smart...." H said "As a matter of fact, I have. and if you hadn't had broken up with me, I never would have met her for coffee" She was a little stunned I guess lol!
H doesn't realize that (or maybe he does) That this is a rebound rebound...oh well.
I am not staying at H's apt. alone, since I still have to process the trigger of it. It is fine if he is there, or if D stays over with me, but it is not my space and it is hard to stay in my space when I am in his like that.
So, he said after our concert (I stayed over, but did not "stay over" ahem...as per my convo with two very wise dber's ) that I could have apt. one night, since I am back at school...I declined. I also said I wouldn't see him this week at all so have a good week etc.
He said I could stay over on the weekend, since he will be at new interest's chalet, I also declined, even though it means getting up at four am for the half marathon on Sunday.
so, tha is where we all are. This will be locked soon, so will start new thread shortly.
Oh, H also mentioned that he when he said I had to get out of his life, to make a life with MG, that he was again listening to other people, that is, MG. That he has not heard his own voice and is striving to find it. So he apologized for that.
