Nero - it takes a lot of time to get past it all - like making good bread you can't really hurry it - if you do you get a fluffy and rather tasteless loaf LOL
And yes, I can now think quite kindly of him most of the time.
I agree about workaholics too - in fact the book I like so much 'The Search for the Real self' is all about our doing things that fulfill who we truly are, and that when we are disassociated from that we do all sorts of destructive and self destructive things. There is a world of difference between working hard at something you love, and being a compulsive workaholic.
Workaholics are all about them and their needs not about the job itself or the effect it has on others. We are social animals who must, as an imperative, consider others, and learn to live with them, and have our own and the needs of others recognised.
I realised that I am so over my xh that I can think of him with affection, as well as recognising the dreadful stuff he did to me and my children. He is both Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, and I can still find it in my heart to love Dr Jekyll although he is long gone, and locked up by Mr Hyde.
I wonder if he gave my address without even thinking about it and doesn't remember doing it, then again, data bases are odd things . . . just another of life's mysteries, but how good to have the network to share things with. I do not know what I would have done without this group of people - changing in cast but still there, supportive, and listening, and full of collective wisdom.
