FY, you know your wife best, so, you do what you think is right.
My xh never spewed much either, thankfully, and I wouldnt have put up with it had he.
I get where you say she doesnt blame you outright, but, I do think she feels hindered by being married. And I think that the "incident" weighs heavily in her feelings. So, that's what I meant.
Anyway, as far as depression, yes, you can appear to be happy. Honestly, no one knew I was depressed and how badly I was.
I was able to "pretend" to be happy. And there were days when I willed myself to appear that way.
But there were other days when I actually did feel happy and hopeful.
I think these talks with your w have helped, FY. I really do. I think perhaps you have given her some food for thought.
I am so hopeful for you two. I believe she can work through this.
I know it is such a slow process sometimes. But it took a long time to get them to this point and so it takes a long time to get them out of it.
And you want her to close the door on her unresolved conflicts so as not to have to revisit them.
