Regarding my comments to W on the possibility of a new and better M:

W pressed to know where I stand on our M & D, and I told her straight up. She wanted to hear it... needed to in my opinion. It's not something I bring up on a regular basis, which is probably why she was somewhat frustrated wondering what I was feeling.

As far as I can tell, it helped, not hindered. Do what works kiddies.

Originally Posted By: uRw
I agree, she does seem to want you to fix things. Which is interesting because she blames you for them.


Actually, other than a few BD's, W doesn't outwardly blame me. What I do hear time and time again is this:

Originally Posted By: W
I've wasted 30 years of my life.

I was afraid to live.

I married too young for the wrong reasons

I missed out on the dating scene.

I never got to live on my own.


I've often posted that I almost never get spewed. Another positive!

(although the "incident" is seen by her as a sign from the universe that she should leave me) so in that respect she does blame me.

"everything happens for a reason" she told me.

Originally Posted By: T2
How did she react to the suggestion to get outside help? Anything you noticed, facial, mood, etc?


She made a brief disapproving facial expression, as I continued on with other thoughts. She told me back near BD that at least one other person (a co-worker) suggested she seek help.

It doesn't appear to be on her radar yet.

mizj: I'm glad I made you chuckle. I think the ability to still laugh through all this is very important.

And I agree. When you feel stuck for a long time, ANY movement is welcomed.

Originally Posted By: RH
Idk about the asking her to do stuff.


Keep in mind that W and I still live together, run a household together, (with several pets) fix meals at home or eat out together, and run errands together. To some extent, we still are a team.

Like I posted on another thread, asking W to do little things for me has been going well. Seems to build, or at least maintain our connection and doesn't aggravate her at all.

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Regarding depression: Is having "happy" days normal for people in depression? Today W seemed happy as pie. Telling me stories, smiling, laughing. I'm confused.

M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl