Run and hide your crazy

[BrightFuture]

Kind of like learning someone died on the sofa you've had for years?

Haha, mizjjd, this is such a good analogy. I will make sure to use it sometime.

J calls H to tell him about the truck.
J asks if he doesn't think what she did is funny?
H says "No!"
J says well then, maybe you need to go to Rice Lake too

This is hilarious!
I like reading your posts. You have such a good sense of humor. I understand that it is not easy at all to live with your H the way he is now. But you manage to keep yourself sane.

I don’t really have any advice for you, but I think you are moving in the right direction, detaching from your H’s craziness.

[kml]

S20, "Mom, do you think I have kidney cancer?"
J, "No."
S20, "Are you sure?"
J, "Do you have a good reason to think that?"
S20, "No, just been having panic attacks about it. That and testicular cancer. Do you think I have testicular cancer?"
J, "No."
S20, "What about blood cancer?"
J, "No."

Fortunately he only had 3 diseases for today... actually a mild episode for him. Sometimes he'll ask the same questions over and over for hours - getting more and more worked up. frown

Is S20 getting any treatment for his OCD?

[mizjjd]

Hey BF and KML!!

Thanks for stopping by!

BF your words were very kind and supportive and certainly every bit as valuable as advice. So thank you!

KML: Is S20 getting any treatment for his OCD?

S20 was on Paxil for about a year and a half. He has been off now for about 4 months. His Dr. labeled S20's issue as more of an anxiety disorder than a compulsion. The Paxil seems to have helped. Just before S20 went on it his anxieties were BAD. He didn't sleep for days for fear he'd die. This behavior first showed up when S20 was 5 years old. He thought then that something was wrong with his throat, that he couldn't swallow and then that he couldn't breathe. He came home from Kindergarten one day with his shirt soaking wet from his own saliva. He had been convinced that he couldn't swallow so he'd been spitting on his shirt all day. He also had fears of poisons, household chemicals and flimsy plastic, like plastic grocery bags. This went on for about 2 years, then disappeared. It returned about 3 years ago, this time about diseases. There was a period last summer he was freaked out about West Nile Virus and wouldn't leave the house for a week. He can usually be talked down within an hour or two.

[uRworthy]

Mz, first of all, I would love to hang out with you. You are hysterical. Dont know what the heck your h is talking about.

I wanted to say that I am so sorry. I know how hurtful that conversation with your h must have been.

I think that we all get to where we need to be in our own time, in our own way.

And I think that you are growing and gaining strength everyday.

Thank you for the prayers. Means so much.

[RosaLinda]

Oh the poor kid, Mz. J. That must be terrifying for him. And must rip your heart out. Sorry .....

[mizjjd]

Hi uRworthy & RosaLinda Thanks for stopping by!!

Mz, first of all, I would love to hang out with you.

Right back at ya' uR You have uber peace, and love. It inspires me.

The "funny" thing is partly competition on H's part I do believe. Several years ago D19 said one of her friends really liked me, that they thought I was funny. Well, H did NOT think that was funny! "What are you talking about? Everyone knows I'm the funny one!"

H likes puns, and sometimes his puns are indeed clever and funny, but not, to me, laugh out loud kind of funny. And, after all these years, I think I can too often anticipate what he'll be saying so the jokes lose some of their "punch". But sometimes he still cracks me up. Not because he meant to tell a joke though, just because of who he is.

For example.

Recently something had transpired, can't remember exactly what, maybe it was just after the most recent god-awful TALK. Whatever it was, H knew I was not a huge fan of him at that minute. (Can you say distance & pursuit?) So when TV time came, I sat in the armchair instead of on my end of the couch. H didn't like it. He huffed. Then he managed to ask nicely for me to sit on the couch with him so I did. On the very end, upright, out of reach. Lol. So H goes to get comfy but he can't quite reach me with his foot.

He orders, "Get more comfortable!"

Well I rolled. Because I was perfectly comfortable. But what King H meant of course was that he wanted to get more comfortable and how could I possibly be comfortable if he was not?

Oh the poor kid, Mz. J. That must be terrifying for him. And must rip your heart out. Sorry .....


Thanks RL. It is a hard thing to see. Talk about something you can't fix Can't fix D19's behavior and drug issues either. Can't fix anyone but myself, but that gives me plenty to do lol. What is the bible quote?

First remove the beam from your own eye, and then you will see clearly enough to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

I don't have the issues of H or of my brother or my kids, but I do have things to work on. Perhaps if I paid as much attention to me as I do those others, I'd make some progress.

Well now! THAT is something for me to think about!!

Lol Thanks again for stopping by! Hope your day is a good one

[reachingHigher]

He orders, "Get more comfortable!"

Love it! Hilarious!

You keep up that good sense of humor! WE all know you're funny! Don't need your H to deny or confirm it!



rH

[kml]

This behavior first showed up when S20 was 5 years old. He thought then that something was wrong with his throat, that he couldn't swallow and then that he couldn't breathe. He came home from Kindergarten one day with his shirt soaking wet from his own saliva. He had been convinced that he couldn't swallow so he'd been spitting on his shirt all day. He also had fears of poisons, household chemicals and flimsy plastic, like plastic grocery bags

This sounds like classic OCD, not anxiety. This is not surprising given his father's behaviors. Try to find a new doctor who specializes in OCD.

Please read an excellent book (although older - so the medication recommendations are dated) called The Boy Who Couldn't Stop Washing by Rapoport. It will really help you to understand the full spectrum of OCD behaviors and how they manifest.

Some OCD may be linked to an immune reaction to strep infections - did he have a lot of sore throats as a kid? It's called PANDAS OCD. I also know of one book about a case caused by Lyme disease.

The mainstream medical treatment is HIGH dose SSRI's - usually about 3 times the typical starting dose. It can work, but there are side effects at that dose.

5-HTP is a natural supplement that boosts serotonin by simply giving more of the precursor that you make serotonin from (rather than SSRIs, which boost serotonin by blocking its breakdown). I have had some success with OCD patients just giving 5-HTP; you have to start low and work up gradually, though, or it can cause diarrhea.

Also read Brainlock by Schwartz - an excellent book on behavioral therapy for OCD.

I know a lot about this because two of my three kids suffer from OCD; one in conjunction with an eating disorder, one with Tourettes.

If he were my kid (and I could get his cooperation, which I cannot with my two right now, lol) I would:
- test for strep antibodies
- test for celiac disease and start a gluten-free dairy-free diet afterwards regardless of the results (the two biggest offenders in autoimmunity and inflammation)
- start 5-HTP (a typical initial dose is 100 mg, then increase in increments of 100 after a couple weeks)
- add a good multivitamin and a b-complex with methylated (activated) B vitamins
- check his B12 level
- if he'll do it, he might get even more benefit from going on a Paleo diet (check out marksdailyapple dot com for info) although with OCD, it gets tricky when you start restricting foods, sometimes they get carried away with it.


It's his OCD that is MAKING him anxious. It's the repetitive thoughts of OCD that are freaking him out. He needs treatment - preferably from a holistic practitioner who understands all this stuff. Try contacting the Institute for Functional Medicine to see if they can recommend a psychiatrist in your area.

[kml]

This sounds like classic OCD, not anxiety. This is not surprising given his father's behaviors

PS what I meant by this is that there's a genetic component and your H sounds like he probably has a form of it too.

[mizjjd]

Wow Kml. Thank you for your thoughtful and thorough post!

I will copy it to a document to keep in case there is ever money to pursue your suggestions.

Right now none of us have health insurance, and none of us have money either so other than perhaps the books I don't know what options we could do.

S20's diet is awful. A lot of fast food, and he overeats. He claims he's allergic to apples, and generally avoids fruits & veggies. I have tried, especially of late, to always offer fruits and veggies with dinner, but S20 isn't interested. And he likes fried foods too .

S20 did not have a lot of sore throats as a child. I was lucky that all the kids were pretty healthy.

Neither S20 nor H display any of what I think of as OCD. There is not hand washing or light switch flipping.

I will look into the books! Thanks again for taking the time to post!