Blindsided

[chl0901]

Seems to be a pattern with him coming home from work in a bad mood. Does he like his job? Is he where he wants to be career wise?

His job is stressful and a lot is expected of him. It's also in an industry where people are getting let go as work "dries up" in our area. He feels pretty secure about his place right now (he feels like he would be one of the last to be let go if it came to that), but there's also no guarantee.

Sounds like he needs some kind of proper outlet for his anger, and possibly a sit down with some one to talk about his moods... Maybe some time in the future he'd be open to that? (whether it be a counselor, pastor, or wise friend/associate)

He's been working out with a friend lately, which I think helps him some, but he would not go to talk to anyone like a therapist and he is not religious. I've asked him to go talk to someone in the past and he basically scoffed at the idea. I wouldn't dare bring it up again - especially with all of our other issues we have!

Also, I honestly think (this is probably mind-reading) that OW is somewhat of an outlet for him right now emotionally. It [censored] and I HATE HATE HATE it, but I can't control their actions and I have not confronted him about her at this point because I feel it would push him more towards her and he would just lie anyway.

You probably did the right thing to stay out of the way so none of whatever he's going through became associated with you. Continue to the "peace" in this situation, in spite of your own pain.

I hope today is a better day for you!

Thank you! I think I handled it the best possible way that I could. H text me this AM with a business related question and when I didn't answer right away, he asked, "Are you not talking to me?" I wrote back that I was in a meeting (which was true) and answered his question. We're supposed to have dinner tonight at the restaurant we regular by our house. Hopefully he's in a better mood and that goes okay!

Sounds like you have had a rough couple of days.. hopefully you feel better soon. I feel the same way as you, that it is hard not to react when our H's act moody and cranky, and hard to not let it affect us. I was thinking yesterday that I am doing good at "physically detaching" from my H, giving space for both of us, but I am not the greatest at "emotionally detaching" from him. Just remember you are doing the best you can, so try not to take it personal. I am really struggling with that right now and I keep feeling like I am doing something wrong, although I know I'm not.

Hi CP! It is hard! LOL. It is hard for me not to react to someone being unreasonable, but silence is the best solution I could come up with at the time. I think we are all just doing the best we can while hoping for a happy outcome, whatever that may be!

Divorce Remedy is a GREAT book, hopefully you get a chance to read it over the weekend. I found it so helpful. Perhaps I will read it again, it has been a few months since i've read it.

I've read DB, and just ordered DR offline for cheap (I got a used copy so it was only $3!). It probably won't be in until next week and it will probably take me awhile to read it like DB because I have (or choose) to read it in secret when I get a chance!

Hopefully you can get out and do something fun this weekend to take your mind off of everything. What kind of interests do you have, and what sorts of things do you do to have fun?

On weekends, I spend as much time as possible with S since I work FT during the week and don't get to see him much. It's too hot to do the park or walks right now, but we usually go swim at least once every weekend at my ILs and will probably do that Sunday. I may try to get with my friend and her S and take the boys to Chuck E. Cheese tomorrow or something fun.

H usually works and plays golf every weekend. He will probably come to his parent's house with S and I on Sunday though. I also clean and do laundry every weekend - fun fun (ha!). When it cools off a little outside, I like to take S on long walks around the neighborhood and to the park.

I am trying to get a couple of girlfriends together for dinner and drinks one day in the next couple of weeks. That should be fun!