Figuring out the old and new life

[reachingHigher]

W is still convinced that the "in love" feelings, and feelings of attraction, not only aren't there for her, but never were. This one point has remained constant for her through all this, and frankly does discourage me a bit.

Script, script, script.

You know, FY, I got that too! H said he never ever even loved me at all....just married for lust. Then a few months later he revised it to having some love for me, then not deep enough love, then said we were "in-love" on many levels, etc. etc.

I know these are very uncomfortable talks, and I had many with my H. It's so painful to see them push you away yet hold you so closely emotionally.

I do see a lot of positives here. She is working through it. That's the only way to get to the other side. The hopelessness and despair and depression...its all part of the awful journey to acceptance.

Idk about the asking her to do stuff. My H wasn't an in-home MLCer for the major part of replay so it may be much different. It seemed that he didn't like being asked to do things for me as it tied him to home and he wanted to be free. But he seemed willing to offer, at times, his help.

I remember texting him about our water softener and filtration system as I had never had to attend to that and was having a problem with that. His texted reply "Bummer!" And no help.

So.....my friend....keep busting on. You're totally awesome. A well of strength and love for W.


rH

P.S. agreed about the team theme. My H didn't want to hear anything about "us". I eventually modified my talks to pointing out what his life would be like without me instead of what it could be like with me.