Everything you said in your post to me makes complete sense. Last night my BIL and i stayed up late having a couple beers and talking about things. I really enjoy and get a lot out of our talks since he is a counselor but i also feel like i am taking advantage of him a bit.
He mentioned a lot of the same things you did by saying i can't expect everything to go back to normal or trying to get to my new normal to fast. I am struggling with my patience. I mentioned that it is hard for me to wait for answers that don't seem to present themselves. I know i need to give up trying to control her and have done a good job, but i can't seem to give up trying to control my future. He gave some good advice by telling my that the only thing i am guaranteed is the present. We are not guarnteed a tomorrow or a future, the only thing we can do is plan for it.
I doing my best to survive, but i have to learn not to try and rush things in my life. I get my kids for the first time in two weeks and i am so excited to see them again. We have lots of things planned for the weekend.
I feel conflicted as to whether i want to be a stander and try and work things out with her in the future, or whether i should go on dates and see if something else works out. I know i am not ready for a relationship right now though.
Me: 41 W: 36 M:9 yrs Together: 12 yrs Kids S7 S4 BD: 01/13 W filed 5/13 D final 8/13
