I am titanium

[Raine]

Ahh, sucked right back in. Thanks Wonka! You made me laugh today and couldn't help but post a response back.

My sitch is just weighing me down. For the first time in a long time, this week I've really been about me, and I'm okay with that, selfish or not. I have just wanted to run away from it, but no where to run.

I decided to head up to one of my favorite camping spots as a kid. Threw the boys in the car with all the quieting electronic devices, cranked the music, and here I am. Great place to write about it, and leave it all here.

Had to reminded H that it was the deadline for C. Got quite an earful about how busy he is. He was pretty upset I wasn't backing down or taking any crap. He is taking the search very seriously--now. He has the insurance done for it and waiting on two other C to call him back tomorrow so he can pick one. So we'll see. I figure this could be a good thing or the C could do a massive amount of damage. It's out of my hands.

Went to a concert the other night. It conflicted with H's typical scheduling, so when I offered to find someone else a few days before, he said yes, find someone. He gets on edge if he deviates from his schedule. He then proceeded to listen to the group for two days straight and post multiple updates about them on fb. What the heck? Yet he maintained he didn't want to go. I asked about 8 people and all had conflicts. Finally last minute I asked H if he would just go, and he said yes. It was absolutely amazing. It didn't matter who I was there with. It was just me and the lead singer...if you know what I mean. I loved every moment of it, and so did H. He said it was great and very unique. But didnt say anything thanking me or glad he didnt miss it. Super funny to me how that all played out. Like an insolent teen.

OW are all being ignored, but they sure are trying. I'm gearing up for one of them to show up at the house. You know how that plays all out in my head: cops, restraining order, a funny story to tell for the rest of my life--yup all planned out

Things are good...really good. They're good despite him or perhaps in spite of him. Life goes on, and life feels good. It feels great to be me, to really like being me. And it's great that others around me see that too.