I agree with the don't apologize crowd. You have to look for that door opening just a crack, but you can't push it open yourself, or even barge in if it does open.
If there's any oportunity to communicate, try to adhere to the DB principles - I, too, have failed many times, even though I've been through this whole process once before. Just have to start over, and do better each time.
I suggesst re-reading parts of DR that apply, repeatedly if necessary! Hang in there!
